Make sure you communicate with your husband that for a season you may not be able (physically or emotionally) to be as intimate as you were before you got pregnant. He needs to know that he is not doing anything wrong when he approaches you and you don’t follow his previously approved gestures. At the same time, this isn’t a “pass” to get out of intimacy completely. It just might need to look a little different for a season:

• Be open to trying new ways of being intimate. If you both already agree that intimacy is more than just sex, this may be easier for you than those who don’t (yet). I encourage all couples I work with to at least agree on a set time for intercourse. Then be honest with your husbands – tell him if you are trying new ways of being intimate before that set time, it may not always lead to intercourse. Or maybe it will! You are in a season of being a trampoline, doctor, nurse, chef, CEO, feeding machine (beautiful, talented, amazing, underpaid, overstressed) mother of littles – it’s okay (and exciting!) to show intimacy in different ways during this season.

• Flirt. Remember the dating days? When was the last time you flirted with your husband? Be playful. Come up behind him for a gentle embrace on your way to change a dirty diaper. Smile at him. Tell him how proud you are of him. Thank him for ANYTHING HE DOES that you like. Go in for a quick kiss before separating the fighting kids for the eleventh time. Sit on his lap for a minute before getting up to catch the mac and cheese from boiling over. Buy a new piece of lingerie & leave it out on the bed (or whisper in his ear about it).

• Enjoy each other. Kids will grow up. You and your husband have a long road ahead of you; have FUN and love each other with the passion that led to the beautiful gift of those littles.